It’s the information age, and anyone who carries the day will take the power of ideas very seriously. So how can you be a marriage activist? We’re glad you asked.

1. Familiarize yourself with the key research that supports our mission. You can find a bunch on our wiki.  We recommend you start with the research piece, “Why Marriage Matters: 26 Conclusions from Social Science”. 
2. Google some keywords that would suggest marri*ge is an arch*ic, outd*ted, p*triarchal, oppr*ssive or abus*ve institution (believe us, they’re out there). Pick some sites and familiarize yourself with the arguments against our mission. Be sure to check out the website of “Altern*tives to M*rri*ge Pr*ject” and read what people opposed to our mission believe.
3. Set up a Google alert to be notified when key topics like “Marriage”, “Divorce”, and “Cohabitation” come up.
4. Check out the source URL’s and whenever possible, comment! Be factual and use good social science in defending marriage. Always be polite, but firm.
5. When you hear the topic come up in conversation, defend marriage as an institution unlike any other. It’s way more than “just a piece of paper”, otherwise, why would people work so hard to avoid it?
6. If you haven’t gotten one yet, order our free “Marriage Myth Buster Guide”. This is a great resource to pass out, or to use as a conversation starter.
7. Remember, 90% of Americans want to be married. This is not about defending a small interest group.
8. Look for ways to reframe the debate, whether on-line or in person. Here are some key points that often are assumed by marriage detractors, and some possible reframes.
   

 Marriage is about the happiness of the couple involved.

Reframe: Marriage is about the wellbeing of children and society, and that has always been its function. Social science proves that family fragmentation has a negative effect on everyone involved, parents, children and ultimately the community.

Reframe: Happiness and unhappiness are ever-changing states of mind. The large majority of unhappily married couples who stick it out are self-reported as “Extremely” or “Very” happy five years later, so this is a dangerous measuring stick unless abuse, addiction or other mental health challenges are affecting the relationship.

Reframe: Marriage has been the solution all societies have found to join a father to his children. Fatherlessness is the real outcome of family breakdown, and its effect on kids is devastating. Furthermore, men who don’t have responsible roles to fill in society engage in far higher rates of risky and anti-social behaviors. Everyone suffers when marriage breaks down.

 Marriage is a fatally flawed (or any adjective with negative meaning) institution.

Reframe: Although individual cases may call for divorce, on average marriage is the most pro-child, pro-woman, and pro-social institution ever created. Nothing else is like it. Even long-term cohabiting couples do not build the same level of assets, the same emotional stability, and the same outcomes for their children.

Reframe: The most dangerous place for children in terms of risk of abuse and neglect is in the home of a biological mother who is cohabiting with a boyfriend. In essence, anything other than marriage creates this situation unless the mother is committed to remaining single.

 Being pro-marriage means being against singles, the divorced, and single parents.

Reframe: Does being against smoking because it causes cancer mean being against smokers as people? Is being against drunk driving being against drinkers as people? If society sees that a behavior is detrimental to the health and wellbeing of its members, it has a duty to stand against it. Family fragmentation has been overwhelmingly proven by social science to produce negative outcomes compared to marriage. We need to stand up against the suffering that family breakdown is causing by standing for marriage.

Reframe: Marriage is not for everyone and shouldn’t be entered into without adequate preparation. But until the human race stops having children, we have an obligation to provide children with the best circumstances possible, as often as possible. That means protecting the institution of marriage, and fighting family breakdown. 

Reframe: We all make mistakes, but the only real failure is a failure to learn from them. As a society, turning our back on marriage means we refuse to learn from the failure of the family. This is not being inclusive, this is being negligent.